Horrible Bodyguard
by Satan Abraham
Summary: Jason Grace was a little skeptical of this new 'bodyguard' who was supposed to accompany him to college. [part-bodyguard AU, part-college AU] [valgrace/jasleo/leason/whatever] [oneshot]


If he was being completely honest, Jason Grace had no idea how this skinny, kind of short young man was supposed to be his bodyguard. This was only enforced when said supposed bodyguard hit himself in the face with a hammer he was twirling in one hand.

"Are you okay?" Jason asked. The guy grinned and rubbed at his cheek, then nodded.

"I'm good!"

He switched his hammer to his other hand and stuck out the previous hand to shake. "Leo Valdez. And you are Jason Grace. That would sound creepy if it wasn't my job to know that. Huh. Wow, it still sounds creepy."

"Yeah," Jason said. "It does."

Leo cleared his throat and it seemed like he was trying to look slightly bashful, or apologetic, or something, but the glint in his eyes gave him away. Jason wasn't sure if he should laugh or run for the hills, and settled for a slightly safe, "Why did my dad hire you?"

Leo laughed and steepled his fingers like some sort of super-villain. "Because I'm great," he said. "And, also, I need a job. And your dad and my dad have kind of a history. Like, the kind where your dad's wife accidentally hit my dad with a car. That kind of history."

Jason stared. Leo pushed on.

"Anyway, you're just going to college, so it's like, hey, I'd like a free ride to college, so thanks to your dad for that, by the way, and you look like you can handle basically anything, and if you can't, I… have a hammer."

"You have a hammer," Jason said. He didn't know what his dad was thinking. Had it been that bad of a car accident?

"Anyway, I think it's all blown out of proportion," Leo said. "You needing a bodyguard and all. How old are you? Like, nineteen?"

"Eighteen," Jason said. Leo Valdez didn't look old enough to be going to college.

"Oh, right, cool," Leo said. "I skipped a year back in middle school, so, I ain't there yet. But, anyway! I need to go and brag to Pipes that I got a free ride to college and ignore the fact that her father could probably buy every house that I've ever lived in, and I was in the foster system. And then my dad came into the picture, and then… well, it's a weird, long story, and I don't really want to get into it. See you later!"

With that, Leo Valdez bounded out of the room, and Jason was left staring at the spot he had left. When his father had told him that he'd need a bodyguard to go to college with him, he'd… well, he'd been less than happy at the idea, because of two reasons. A, he thought he was pretty good at taking care of himself, and B, it would only set him apart from everyone else. His father was important, and he knew that, and other people knew that. A bodyguard was likely to only make things worse.

But if his bodyguard was someone like Leo Valdez, who looked about the farthest thing from a bodyguard, it would probably be okay.

…

The rest of the summer passed too quickly, and soon Jason Grace was in the backseat on his way to his university. Sulking in the front seat was his cousin, Nico di Angelo – he was about two years younger than Jason, and Nico's father had insisted on him coming along to check out the campus. Nico hadn't taken it well, especially when the mention that Nico's personal chauffer would be driving them.

But Jason liked Nico, even if he was a little creepy, really quiet, and had a tendency to sneak up on people in dark rooms.

When they reached the campus, Nico turned around and stared straight into Jason's soul.

"Tell your dad that I wandered around, I checked out the library, and you bought me coffee because you feel sorry for me."

"Aw, it'll be fun to walk around for a little bit," Jason said. He pushed his glasses up – he'd have to get them adjusted soon, they kept falling off of his face – and frowned. "You didn't come to the campus visit with us."

"Because I'm your _cousin, _not your _pet._"

"At least let me buy you coffee. And I think this is a pet-free campus."

Nico looked like he was going to argue, but the lure of coffee was too much for him, and he nodded. "Fine," he said. "But I'm staying in here."

"You can't just sit in the car while I buy you coffee. Here's what we'll do. We'll get my stuff to my dorm, and then your chauffer will drive to the visitor parking, and then we'll walk over to the student center and I'll buy you coffee. And then walk you back to visitor parking."

Nico scowled, but nodded. Jason grinned. "When Thalia went to college she didn't make me come," he muttered.

"Bianca went, though," Jason said. "Now it's your turn, little buddy."

"Don't call me little buddy, are you _forty?"_

Jason ignored him and the chauffer headed toward Jason's dorm. It was the honor dorm – suites with two bedrooms, two people to a bedroom. Leo would be in Jason's room, and Jason had absolutely no idea who would be on the other side. He just knew that his dad had been more worried about communal showers than two extra people, so a suite-style room it was.

Jason knew better than to try to make Nico carry things, so he loaded everything onto his back and put Nico on door-duty. "Can't your bodyguard do that?" Nico asked.

"Don't call him that, and he's not here yet," Jason said. He glanced around. Nobody was paying any attention to him, except a red-headed girl who looked absolutely impressed at his carrying-multiple-bags skills. He managed a smile toward her and turned back to Nico. "C'mon. Just hold doors."

Nico sighed, but he complied. Thankfully, Jason's room was only on the second floor, so he only had to stagger up a few stairs whilst praying for his survival.

The door to his room was propped open, and Jason picked his way over the large duffel bag and to the middle room. Two people were there, and neither of them Leo Valdez – one was an Asian kid with an eyepatch, and the other Nico di Angelo's polar opposite. Nico's opposite stepped forward.

"Hey, I'm Will," he said. "You're… Jason? You don't look like your last name would be Valdez."

"Yeah," Jason said.

"Ethan Nakamura," the eyepatched kid said, and then his eyes were glued to his phone. Jason shifted from foot-to-foot awkwardly for a few moments before Will took pity on him and pointed to the right.

"That's your and Valdez's room," he said. "I'm stuck in the other one with Revenge McEyepatch, so… hey! Who's that?"

"Uh, my cousin," Jason said. He turned. Nico attempted to disappear back into the hallway. "I dragged him here and said I'd buy him coffee after I get my stuff in my room. Do you two wanna come with us?"

"Sounds nice," Will said. "Ethan?"

"I'm good," Ethan said. He disappeared into his room and Will frowned.

"He'll open up eventually," he said, though he sounded a little doubtful. Jason's arms were about to fall off, however, so he staggered to his room and dropped his things on the side farthest from the door. He did wonder where Leo was, and if his tardiness would reflect badly on everything-

Will's voice cut through his thoughts. "That room."

He sounded close to laughter. There was an answer that Jason couldn't quite make out, and then Leo Valdez walked into their shared bedroom in full bodyguard uniform. Black pants, black shirt with 'SECURITY' lettered across the front in white letters, and a pair of sunglasses so huge that they covered half of his face.

"Oh my god," Jason said. "Please tell me that's something you came up with on your own, and you're going to change now."

Leo grinned. "Maybe," he said. "That expression on your face was _killer, _by the way, you looked about ready to burst into tears or punch me in the face, I can't really tell the difference sometimes. Will said something about coffee?"

"No coffee for you," Jason said. Leo's grin widened. Jason shoved his glasses back to a position of relative security and repeated himself. "No coffee for you."

"What if I tighten up your glasses?"

"Huh?"

Leo bounced forward and plucked Jason's glasses from his face and dug around in his bags until he found a tiny screwdriver. "It'll take me like, two seconds, just hold on, and then we can go for coffee. Is that gloomy-looking kid roommate number four? I think the other blond guy's freaking him out. Man, it'd be funny to watch them share a room."

Jason shook his head, a little baffled by the number of words coming out of Leo's mouth. "He's my cousin," Jason said. "His dad made him come along to check out the campus. Roommate number four looks pretty gloomy, though, too."

"Fantastic," Leo said. He fiddled with the glasses for a few minutes, and then handed them back to Jason. "Try them out. Your cousin's cute, though. He's getting all blushy and awkward. It's adorable. And the other blond guy's kind of-"

"Will," Jason said. "His name's Will. And our other roommate's Ethan. And my cousin is Nico."

"Right, thanks, that'll help," Leo said. He grinned again. "How do they feel?"

Jason blinked and didn't know what he was talking about for a second before realizing that his glasses were still in his hands. He fitted them onto his face and blinked a few times. "They're good," he said. A little tight, but they always were after getting them adjusted officially. "Are you going to change?"

Leo laughed, but he nodded. "Right, okay," he said. "Just give me a second. And then we can go get coffee, and maybe, like, a cookie or something? I dunno, I haven't eaten in like ten hours and I'm _starving,_ so-"

Jason left him in the room, his head spinning.

…

Life with Leo Valdez as his roommate-slash-bodyguard was one of the weirdest, most stressful times of his life. He liked Leo, he liked Leo a lot – he was funny, and Jason could count on him in terms of most things, but the amount of words that came out of Leo's mouth could be a little overwhelming sometimes. As well as that, when he did homework it was almost impossible for Jason to be in the same room as him without feeling a twinge of motion-sickness. Leo bounced from subject to subject, everything spread out on his desk and a few books on the floor, claiming that it was the only way for him to do something so boring, because otherwise he'd end up building something.

Which he was trying to do, actually – trying to build a robot to do his homework for him. Jason had thought it was a joke, and then Leo had fed a typed page of something and the machine had spat it out crumpled and covered in red ink.

Jason had asked what it was supposed to do. Leo had shrugged and said that he'd just thrown it together to do _something. _At the moment, it was mostly just a centerpiece. Leo's insanity was one of the reasons he was glad to share a suite-style room with four guys instead of just him and Leo in one room.

The other reason was the shower.

He had to remind himself to limit himself to not taking all of the hot water, because Will was planning on going in right after him, but it was getting cold, and he had to tear himself out from under the spray. He shivered a little, wrapped a towel around his waist, and headed out to go back to his room. Will was waiting outside the door and nodded to him as he slipped into the bathroom.

Leo was stretched out on the floor of the center room, messing with Ethan's Xbox. Ethan stood by, a nervous look on his face. Leo glanced up as Jason passed by. "Dude, that's unfair," he said. "Like, come on, is a blond thing? Because we literally just said that same thing about Will."

"You literally just said the same thing about Will," Ethan said. He didn't look up from his dissected-looking Xbox. "I just wanted you to see if anything was wrong. Is it supposed to look like that?"

"It's fine," Leo said, waving his hand dismissively. "Hey, Nakamura, let's bleach our hair. Then maybe we'd be built like that."

"_No."_

"Come on, let's do it. Piper'd help. Come on, isn't every blond guy you know a complete hunk? Look at Jason. Look at Will. That kid that leads that thing you joined, whats-his-name-"

"Luke," Ethan said.

"Yeah, him. Oh, wait, not Octavian. Okay, so Octavian's the exception to the rule. But I think that it's likely that we'll turn out more Jason than Octavian."

"I really don't think so."

"Jason, come with us to buy the stuff," Leo said, ignoring Ethan's protests. He bounced to his feet. "Come on. Ethan'll drive."

"Can I put some clothes on first?" Jason asked.

…

The hair-bleaching experiment had turned out almost exactly as expected – Leo looked horrible. Ethan did look alright with bleach-blond hair, but he had been more patient with it; Leo's hair was white at the roots, sort of golden for the most part, and a shade lighter than his normal hair color everywhere else. Jason put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "You're Octavian."

…

The whole 'bodyguard' thing didn't come up again until finals. Jason had been studying in the library – they had extended hours for finals week, and he was taking full advantage of that. Leo was next to him with a few empty cans of Monster energy drink surrounding his computer as he frantically typed up a last-minute paper. His hair had mostly grown out since the bleaching fiasco, and now it was all normal-colored apart from the tips, which were alternately bleach-blond and bright red. The bright red was for something that Leo had explained while sleep-deprived and hopped up on several cups of coffee, so Jason had no idea.

They were both fairly into studying and paper-writing when something crashed behind them. Jason jumped, his highlighter skidding across the glossy pages of his history textbook and slicing a pink line through Alexander Hamilton's face. Leo knocked over his newly-opened can of Monster.

Leo pulled out his headphones and looked around. "Dude, what was that?" he asked. Jason stood up.

"I don't know," he said. "I'm going to go check it out. Stay here."

"You are not leaving me behind alone," Leo said. "What if it's like, haunted or something? A haunted library? Wasn't that a book series? For little kids, or something? I don't even know-"

"Shh,' Jason said, holding back a hand. Leo collided with it and he let his hand drop. "I don't… I don't know what's…"

He turned the corner and met a book face-first.

…

He woke up in his bed, his head pounding and Leo standing over him. "You're a horrible bodyguard," Jason said. He sat up and winced. "What…"

"It was a fight that you walked straight into," Leo said. He laughed, but it sounded strained. "They were fighting over Ben Franklin's autobiography or something. You took Poe to the face.

"Ow," Jason said. He squinted a little. "Glasses?"

"A little bent-up," Leo said, but he handed them over anyway. They sat crookedly on his face. "I didn't have the time to fix them. Uh, sorry. God, that worried me, you know?"

Jason blinked. "Uh. What?"

"You just turned the corner and dropped. I think I spent a full five minutes freaking out before I managed to get you back here. I am a horrible bodyguard. Like, shit, it's just-"

"It's fine," Jason said. He remembered a baseball going the wrong way when he was twelve, and a backpack dropped from a higher floor when he was fifteen. "I get knocked unconscious a lot. 's nothing big. It's just a book. It wasn't a brick."

That had happened before, too; last year, he'd been walking past something being built and a brick had whacked him in the temple.

Leo took a deep breath. "If you say so," he said. He stayed where he was, leaning over Jason's bed, one hand next to Jason's hip, the other on Jason's shoulder. It was quiet for a bit. "Remember when I said your cousin was cute?"

"Maybe?"

"Do you have a concussion?"

"No. Yeah. I mean, I think I remember that."

"Remember when I said you were hot?"

"Yes," Jason said. "Then you bleached your hair and dragged Ethan down with you."

Jason wondered what Leo's point was until Leo kissed him. Jason blinked, a little surprised for half of a second, and then kissed Leo back. After a bit, Leo pulled away.

"Will you remember that?"

"Unless I do have a concussion."

* * *

><p><strong>This was requested by an anon on Tumblr, who wanted a LeoJason bodyguard AU… and it sort of turned into more of a college AU. But it was fun anyway.**


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